It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I would fuck him just for his dog
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
