Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize