maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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