just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize