I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
