Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Randomize
