thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
