what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
