By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm at about main and main street
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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