Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
