its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
