so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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