Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
