Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
