you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
