There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
