he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize