You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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