his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
