saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
whose parrot is this?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
