well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
