Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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