i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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