I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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