sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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