oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
