It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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