Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
