I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
