Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
