we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you didnt know i had herpes?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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