btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
operation have a gay friend backfired
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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