the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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