Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
