Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
