sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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