Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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