I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
