Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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