ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
as a side note pls kill me
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