I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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