One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
