Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
