so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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