Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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