i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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