2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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