Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So squirting runs in the family.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
