at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
