does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
