Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
