Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
