Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
