I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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