I wanna passion pit in your ass
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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