I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
