So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
