We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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