Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
