I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
