so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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