Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She's JV to your varsity
You can't motorboat a personality
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
