We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
