apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
