The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
