why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
