Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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