And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
