every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
