it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
